Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Adam Sandler: The Definitive Review

The following are all the movies and projects that involve Adam Sandler in some way, be it acting, directing, producing, or writing. I will only review movies and projects that I have seen. All ratings are out of 5 stars, 5 being a perfectly entertaining and funny movie with a good story and good acting, and 0 being 90 minutes of a jar of mayonnaise.

The Longest Yard – Despite the abundance of big names, this is a pretty decent flick. Set in a southern prison, Adam Sandler plays the unlikely ex-football player that leads the inmates in an Inmate vs. Guard football game. The only real bad part of this movie that sticks out in my memory is Stone Cold as the asshole racist cop that loves to use “the N word” like it’s going out of style. It doesn’t add to the story, it’s just disturbing and out of place. Despite other flaws, 3 / 5

50 First Dates – A decent Sandler/Barrymore movie, the hook being Barrymore as the girl who can’t make new memories ever since a car accident, so Sandler has to find a wacky, creative way to meet and woo her every day. The walrus in this movie is hilarious. Not the over-the-top vomit scene, just the fact that there’s a walrus in the movie. 3.5 / 5 Stars.

Anger Management – Sandler, after an accidental fight with a stewardess, is ordered to undergo radical 24 hour therapy with a famous psychologist, Jack Nickolson. Classic Jack, and everything you would expect from Sandler. 3.5 / 5 Stars.

Eight Crazy Nights – Cartoon about a humbug Sandler trapped in a small town during the winter holiday season. Don’t bother with this one, just watch grass grow or Fitz eat a taco. 0.5 / 5 Stars.

Mr. Deeds – Sandler is a small town pizza chef, and finds out that his rich uncle has died and inherits all his riches and companies. When he comes to New York to claim his billions, he soon finds out that there’s no staying out of the public eye. John Turturro is very entertaining, and his performance alone is worth watching Deeds. 3 / 5 Stars.

Little Nicky – As the son of Satan, Sandler tries to stop his other two brothers from turning Earth into another Hell. Special appearance by Bubbs. Pretty funny, but I would have to kill myself if I didn’t give this movie 1.5 / 5 Stars.

Big Daddy – Undoubtedly Sandler’s best movie. An out-of-work lawyer, Sandler illegitimately adopts a child to impress his girlfriend, just in time to learn she’s boning a grandpa. There’s nothing I can say that will do justice to this movie, if you haven’t seen it, or haven’t seen it in a while then get to a video store or head to Netflix.com and get it. 5 / 5 Stars!

The Waterboy – Another sports movie, starring Sandler as the southern hick that is waterboy for State University’s football team. Sandler realizes his potential as a football player, and against his mom’s wishes, plays the football. Go ahead and waste your time unless you have a real movie you want to watch, 2 / 5 Stars.

The Wedding Singer – The other Sandler/Barrymore flick, this time taking place in the eighties. Barrymore is engaged to some prick, and Sandler falls in love with her. All around, a very good situational comedy. 4 / 5 Stars

Bulletproof – Co-starring Damon Wayans, felon Sandler gets arrested, and he and Damon have to run from the drug lord that Sandler worked for. This movie is one of the worst movies possibly of all time and maybe even the world. 0.5 / 5 Stars

Happy Gilmore – The hockey wanna-be turned golfer, Sandler plays the PGA tour so he can earn money to buy back his grandmother’s house. Chris McDonals is the perfect villain, playing Shooter. 4 / 5 Stars

Billy Madison – The heir to the Madison hotel chain, Billy slothfully lives out his life getting boozed up with his friends until one day, to prove to his father he’s not totally worthless, Billy goes back to every grade of primary education. Classic. 4 / 5 Stars.

Airheads – Very dated, not funny, Sandler plays a band member that hijacks a radio station to get their song played on the air. 0 / 5 Stars.

There are some other movies of note that I haven’t seen, such as Spanglish, Punch-Drunk-Love, and Going Overboard. All of these are horrible, I’m told. He has also been involved in some other decent stuff, like both Deuce Biggilos and a couple David Spade movies and comedy specials (not Take The Hit). Overall, Sandler has been in more decent movies than bad ones.