Monday, November 29, 2004


Toshiba said Monday, November 29th that it had gained backing from Paramount (owned by Viacom), Universal (owned by General Electric), New Line Cinema and Warner Brothers (both owned by Time Warner). These four studios account for 45% of the country’s prepackaged DVD sales. This gives Toshiba’s HD technology a great edge over Sony’s Blu-Ray technology.

Those studios are expected to begin releasing movies on HD format discs the last quarter of 2005, just in time for the holidays.

The reason for the battle over the next media format is simple; whichever format wins the battle also wins billions of dollars in licensing revenue. For example, if Toshiba does in fact beat out Sony, every HD player manufacturer will pay a royalty fee to Toshiba. The DVD player and recorder market is a $10 billion a year business. (The PC drive business matches this.)

Another reason for studios to jump on the HD bandwagon is the low transitional cost involved. HD discs have a very similar physical structure to DVD discs. The upside to Blu-Ray is that it can hold 25GB instead of HD’s 20GB. Also, Blu-Ray also promises higher capacities in the future, which would give its technology a longer shelf life.

The battle for format supremacy is far from over. Sony still has a year to gain support and make Toshiba’s HD format look like crap.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Blu-Ray vs. HD DVD: DVD's Successor

One of these new technologies will be the replacement for the DVD disc, which will be a battle the likes of which has not seen since Beta vs. VHS.

Both are based on the same basic technology; they replace the red lasers currently in DVD burners with blue lasers, which use a shorter wavelength to store information, allowing more data to be stored on a normal disc. While a standard CD will be able to hold about 1.4GB with this new technology, there are discs being developed that will hold 30GB for a dual-layer HD disc. Sony claims that their format could eventually hold as much as 200GB (eight-layer disc)!

This technology would allow almost an entire season of your favorite TV show to be on one DVD disc (analog format). In High-Def format, a standard Blu or HD disc can hold about 27GB, or two hours of High-Def video. High-Def’s picture and sound quality is five to seven times greater than normal analog quality, requiring much more storage.

Here are the positives and negatives of each.

-Backed by Sony, HP, Panasonic’s parent company Marsushita (developers of VHS), and Dell.
-HP and Dell control approximately 30% of the world’s computer sales.
-Sony can use next generation Playstation at a launching platform of their Blu-Ray campaign. (Sony officially announced Bly-Ray as the official media type for P3, due to release in 2006.)
-Sony led consortium recently acquired MGM, along with their back-catalogue of movies.
-Endorsed by weblog Gizmodo.

-Developed by Toshiba and backed by Sanyo and NEC.
-Supported by Time Warner, and gaining support from Paramount, Disney, and Universal.
-Endorsed by the DVD forum, which only endorses one format.
-Claims low transitional costs between current DVD and HD formats.

Blu-Ray recorders are already on sale in Japan, but Toshiba looks to launch their HD DVD recorders (in Japan) in early ’05, and laptops with HD drives in the last quarter of ’05. Expect to see DVD players for the new standard hit the market in time for next Christmas. By that time, the standard should be set, either Blu or HD format. Basically, it boils down to which format has the wider selection of movies available. This is a contest Sony has lost before (Beta).

Don’t worry though, the new HD and Blu players will be reverse-compatible with DVDs so you won’t have to replace your movie library just yet.

The Chronicles of Riddick: Review

This movie would be awesome if it didn’t suck so badly. Everything but the writing was horrible. Cinematography was confusing, the story wasn’t interesting, and the DVD production was laughable.

I have no idea why, but the director, David Twohy, thought it was a good idea to insert deleted scenes that didn’t make the final cut, and mark them by “jumping” the footage. This idea is almost as bad as the concept of “InfiniFilm”, which I’ll later explain. He even admits that this can be confusing in a “Special Introduction” to the movie.

Not only are there confusing jumps in the movie to let us know when there is a deleted scene coming up, but there are even more deleted scenes in the bonus features! These scenes are actually pretty funny, due to them not being finished. In many of them, the green screen wasn’t cut out fully, or even at all. Sometimes there are one or two second clips of CG animatics which were never finished.

Adding to the film’s worthlessness is the idea that it takes place five years after “Pitch Black”, and the girl in PB named Jack (then twelve) is now named Kira, and now looks like a 23 year old. Huh?

I seriously want to listen to the Director’s Commentary, just so I can try to understand how this guy David Twohy thought he was making a good movie. That way, if I ever make a movie I’ll do the exact opposite of what he did.

I hate the fact that I had to spend Thanksgiving with my drunk family, my drunk aunt asking one of my cousins when’s the last time she had sex with one of my other cousins. I hate even more the fact that I have to wake my lazy ass up at 4:00AM tomorrow to cater to angry day-after-Thanksgiving-deal shoppers. What I hate the most is that I spent two hours watching this crap-fest. By the way, my family really doesn’t fuck each other, but when you get Aunt Terrie drunk just watch out because she’s worse than Martin Lawrence on a bender.

Back to the InfiniFilm. InfiniFilm is a DVD production company. IF has an option that allows you to access DVD extras while the movie is playing via selecting a pop-up prompt. The reason that IF is so bad is because if you haven’t seen a movie, you want to watch it straight through without any deleted scenes, interviews, or behind-the-scenes foorage first.

IF claims on their website that you can access the Special Features from the main menu as well, though I know there are a few IF DVDs I have seen where I had to actually watch the movie in order to access the extras. So I have to ask, what’s the point of viewing the extras while you are watching the movie if you can view them from the Bonus Features Menu?

In summation, InfiniFilm is horrible. The Chronicles of Riddick is horrible. If this DVD were authored by InfiniFilm…wow. Just wow.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Old TV Shows: Final Installment

16. Roseanne

I only remember a few things about this show. One: On Halloween the show was interrupted during the climax, when Dan (the husband) was hit right in the nose and it was bleeding out of control at the diner where Roseanne worked for that gay guy. The series finale, Roseanne pretended like the past two seasons were all pretend and played like John was a figment of her imagination ever since he died of a heart attack two years ago. When she won the lottery, it was a defense mechanism to make her feel less like a white trash cunt. Three stars.

17. Mad About You

Like Seinfeld, only not funny. Paul Reiser sucks. Helen Hunt is hot. Negative eleventy-billion stars.

18. Hey, Dude

Easily one of the top shows Nick has ever put out. Teenagers working on a desert horse ranch, to make middle aged, middle class people feel more like cowboys, but we all really know they are all still doochbags. Uncle Ben (the owner of the ranch) made an appearance in Forrest Gump as the reporter during the protest at the college when the blackies finally get admitted to a whitey school. And “Melody” is now Ben Stiller’s wife. Five stars. Put this shit on DVD like now! Five stars!

19. Home Improvement

Tim “The Toolman” Taylor. What a fitting name. He wasn’t funny at all. But, his TV wife was kinda hot. His movies suck, especially his X-Mas movies, which are his only movies. Anyway, he’s not funny. Al Bohrlan was much funnier than Tim was, and he sucks as the current host of Family Fued. No Stars.

20. Married…With Children

Eureka. The perfect show for anyone! (It lasted 10 years!)
Al was the truest definition of a man’s man. Peg said what ever woman was thinking. Plus, Peg (Katey Sagal) later was a voice on Futurama, and was the fiancé of an alien named Al who was a womanizer and Morman and shapeshifter. By the way, Bender’s the greatest! Bud was every horny teenage guy’s idol. Trying to fuck his older sister’s friends, yet never succeeding. Kelly Bundy, (aka Christina Applegate) was the older sister with hot yet prude slutty friends. Short of The Sopranos, I can’t think of a more perfect show. Infinity plus one stars!

Friday, November 19, 2004

WWE: The Undertaker

In cleaning my room this past weekend, I discovered several Undertaker comic books, and also many old autographed baseballs and sports memorabilia. The old sports crap didn’t really do anything for me, but the UT comics got me to thinking about how great of a wrestler the Undertaker really is.
The Undertaker debuted in the WWF at the Survivor Series pay per view in 1990 under the Million Dollar Man. This year’s Survivor Series pay per view was this past Sunday, so he will was in the company for approximately 14 years. He has spent very little time off for injuries, but he is getting more and more injury prone in his aging state.
The Undertaker has wrestled and beaten all of the top names in the business, such as Hulk Hogan, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Vader, and of course, Kane (his half brother in the storylines).
Lately, the Taker has been more of a backstage icon than been a main event draw. He can still hold a classic match against any wrestler in my opinion. He only appears to hype his pay per view appearances, but that is OK with me since the RAW (Monday night wrestling) top guys mainly wrestle on PPVs.
The only problem with the Taker is he is getting too stale. He is falling into the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) formula, which is a spot fest instead of a real good old match. He plans his matches like Bret Hart instead of Shawn Michaels. “Old School” clothesline, chokeslam, piledriver, and beat his opponent with his own move.
My solution: place the Undertaker (aka Mark Calloway) in a cryogenic state until they find a cure or treatment for wrestlers getting old.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

In case you've led a sheltered electronic existance, let Me tell you about a website called Homestar Runner. Homestar Runner is a great athlete. His arch nemesis, Strong Bad, is hilarious and the real reason why everyone goes to the site. Each week, Strong Bad answers a real fan's email. Link to the latest Strong Bad Email.
If you're new to the site, click on the First Time Here button on the main page. It's a great flash site, and normally updated weekly.
Also, final installment of the Old TV Shows reviewed coming very soon!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Old TV Shows Reviewed Part 3

11. American Gladiators
Much like professional wrestling, only with normal people put up against real athletes with real gay sounding names, such as “Zap”, “Viper”, “Gemini”, and Blaze” along with future pro wrestler names, such as “Diesel”, “Sunny”, “Thunder” and “Nitro”. Different events were Power Ball, Assault, The Wall, Hang Tough, and of course, the Eliminator. My favorite event however was The Rings. Sometimes the person would eliminate themselves without a gladiator even touching them, and sometimes the gladiator would be taken out of action without the contestant doing anything. It had nothing to do with athleticism most of the time, just luck and timing. Five Stars.

12. My Two Dads

This crap show only lasted three years. It starred Staci Keanan as the daughter, and yes, she had two fathers, played by Paul Reiser and Greg Evigan. Her mother had relations with both the fathers, gave birth, and died. At the custody hearing (pre-DNA testing) the judge ordered joint-custody of the girl to both potential dads. Nothing made this show stand out from any other sitcom of its day. Two stars.

13. The Cosby Show
Bill Cosby is a funny motherfucker. However, I didn’t like his show. It wasn’t a standard show. The plot wasn’t revealed until the show was almost over, or the problem was resolved five minutes into the show. The rest of the time was for Cosby to make cute little jokes for families all over America to chuckle at and fell cultured because they were watching a show starring a black guy. Zero Stars.

14. Growing Pains
Normal family dealing with everyday problems. Cast included Kirk Cameron, Tracey Gold, and even Leo DeCraprio. Same old sitcom; parents raising troubled teens and young children. As I remember though, this was pretty a pretty funny sitcom. It must have been the Jewish writers. Three Stars.

15. Quantum Leap
Very innovative sci-fi show. Dr. Sam Beckett, played by Scott Bakula, is a scientist who perfected time travel within his own lifetime. His “string theory” is simple; your life is like a string, a beginning and end. But if you balled it up one point of your life would touch another and you could easily travel through time. His friend and co-worker on the project Al, played by Dean Stockwell, traveled with him as a hologram which only Sam could hear and see. Sam would “leap” into different people’s bodies during an important time in their lives, such as an undercover cop, blind piano player, Elvis, a private investigator, women, black men, and Sam himself when he was a teenager. Five stars, seriously.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Old TV Shows Reviewed: 2 of 4

6. Full House
No matter what anyone says now, back in the day “Full House” was the shit. Bob Saget was the voice of reason. John Stamos was the ridiculously good looking Zoolander-type. Dave Coulier was the stupid magician who would have been better utilized working kid’s birthday parties in a clown outfit. Plus, it was the platform that the Olsen Twins leapt from to claim their present celebrity hotness. Four stars out of Five.

7. Fresh Prince of Bel Air
The definition of a situational comedy: black teen from poor neighborhood goes to live with his rich aunt and uncle. This series really propelled Will Smith into superstardom, but the real gem of the series was Alfonso Ribeiro (aka Carlton). Also, DJ Jazzy Jeff made guest appearances. Though this series is very dated, it’s still amusing to watch in an age of reality shows mixed with game shows mixed with B-list celebrities doing things they wouldn’t normally do. You know what I want to see on TV? How about giving Christopher Walken his own show? Maybe let Jack Black do a late night talk-show with his partner from Tenacious D, Kyle Gass. Anyway, Three stars out of Five.

8. MacGyver
Best show ever. Richard Dean Anderson is pure genius, playing a secret agent for a consultant firm that works exclusively for the government, called the Phoenix Foundation. MacGyver’s work takes him all over the world, saving us from countless terrorist attacks and saving friends from certain danger, all the while without ever firing a gun. Instead, he used his infinite scientific and logistical knowledge to get out of impossible situations. Also, not too many people know that MacGyver’s first name was Angus. Twelve stars!

9. Murder She Wrote
Stupid show. Angela Landsbury is a worthless old bag o’ crap. The surprise endings to the episodes were ridiculous. Once, I actually predicted the outcome of an episode. The character that was the killer was only on screen for thirty seconds. I’m not going to waste any more precious space on this, Negative seventeen stars.

10. Alf
The original sitcom, not the new talk show which I haven’t seen but assume is gay (no homo). Alf was an alien being that crash landed to earth, standing at about three feet tall with brown hair covering his entire body (just picture the love child of a dog and raccoon). He liked eating live cats, but I don’t recall him every indulging his appetite for the show’s entire four year life. In the final episode, the US government actually captures Alf, and nothing is resolved in the entire series. Three stars out of Five.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Reviewed 80's and 90's TV Shows: 1 of 4

As anyone that regularly watched TV in the eighties and early nineties knows, the shows of that era were awesome. To watch them now is a form of torture that would make even Jack Bauer spill all his secrets to the commies. Therefore, I feel compelled to review the top twenty shows of the 80’s and early 90’s.

1. Step by Step
One of many TGIF shows on my Top 20 TV shows of the eighties and early nineties. A modern day “Brady Bunch”, “Step by Step” was about a father (Patrick Duffy) and his children living with his new wife (Suzanne Somers) and her children from another marriage. The hook of the show is that the kids hate each other. It sounds dumb, but the show lasted for seven years, so obviously there were some idiots stupid enough to watch it. I was one of them. Three start out of Five.

2. Parker Lewis Can’t Loose
I don’t know what network this show originated from, but I remember it being played on USA. This is basically a TV version of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”. Parker Lewis and his best friends were always getting into trouble from Parker’s younger sister, the principal, and Parker’s parents. I specifically remember an episode with a direct reference to Ferris Bueller and Cameron, their silhouettes talking in the back of a dark auditorium and discussing how much of a rip off the show was of the movie. Two stars out of five.

3. Family Matters
Whether you like to admit it or not, Urkel was the funniest shit at the time. Another TGIF show, “Family Matters” tackled the issues that teens were facing every day, like drugs, pre-marital sex, gang affiliation, and killing old ladies. I’m talking about the stupid grandma on that show. She wasn’t funny and should have been killed off in the first episode. That aside, the show was awesome. Four stars out of Five.

4. Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper
I remember this as a really edgy show (also a TGIF show). It was the first black comedy a lot of sheltered, naïve white kids, like me, were exposed to. It taught me all about the African-American sub-culture of washed up basketball players. Also, Holly Robinson as Vanessa Russell was really hot, and I was ten. Three words: confused and aroused. One star out of Five.

5. Salute Your Shorts
By far, the best show Nickelodeon had for the time. This show was about kids attending a summer camp, so they had every stereotype there was for a kid. The nerd, the bully, the fat kid, the athlete, the prissy rich slut, and the asshole counselor. The kids mainly try to pull as much shenanigans against the counselor as possible (his name is “Ug” Lee). Five stars out of Five.

New Updates Coming Soon!

Sorry to the four people that actually check my site. I have been kinda busy the past week. Since then, the Red Sox won the world series, President Bush retained his presidency, and I have driven ten hours in one day. Hopefully I'll have some real content later today.