Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Adam Sandler: The Definitive Review



The following are all the movies and projects that involve Adam Sandler in some way, be it acting, directing, producing, or writing. I will only review movies and projects that I have seen. All ratings are out of 5 stars, 5 being a perfectly entertaining and funny movie with a good story and good acting, and 0 being 90 minutes of a jar of mayonnaise.

The Longest Yard – Despite the abundance of big names, this is a pretty decent flick. Set in a southern prison, Adam Sandler plays the unlikely ex-football player that leads the inmates in an Inmate vs. Guard football game. The only real bad part of this movie that sticks out in my memory is Stone Cold as the asshole racist cop that loves to use “the N word” like it’s going out of style. It doesn’t add to the story, it’s just disturbing and out of place. Despite other flaws, 3 / 5

50 First Dates – A decent Sandler/Barrymore movie, the hook being Barrymore as the girl who can’t make new memories ever since a car accident, so Sandler has to find a wacky, creative way to meet and woo her every day. The walrus in this movie is hilarious. Not the over-the-top vomit scene, just the fact that there’s a walrus in the movie. 3.5 / 5 Stars.

Anger Management – Sandler, after an accidental fight with a stewardess, is ordered to undergo radical 24 hour therapy with a famous psychologist, Jack Nickolson. Classic Jack, and everything you would expect from Sandler. 3.5 / 5 Stars.

Eight Crazy Nights – Cartoon about a humbug Sandler trapped in a small town during the winter holiday season. Don’t bother with this one, just watch grass grow or Fitz eat a taco. 0.5 / 5 Stars.

Mr. Deeds – Sandler is a small town pizza chef, and finds out that his rich uncle has died and inherits all his riches and companies. When he comes to New York to claim his billions, he soon finds out that there’s no staying out of the public eye. John Turturro is very entertaining, and his performance alone is worth watching Deeds. 3 / 5 Stars.

Little Nicky – As the son of Satan, Sandler tries to stop his other two brothers from turning Earth into another Hell. Special appearance by Bubbs. Pretty funny, but I would have to kill myself if I didn’t give this movie 1.5 / 5 Stars.

Big Daddy – Undoubtedly Sandler’s best movie. An out-of-work lawyer, Sandler illegitimately adopts a child to impress his girlfriend, just in time to learn she’s boning a grandpa. There’s nothing I can say that will do justice to this movie, if you haven’t seen it, or haven’t seen it in a while then get to a video store or head to Netflix.com and get it. 5 / 5 Stars!

The Waterboy – Another sports movie, starring Sandler as the southern hick that is waterboy for State University’s football team. Sandler realizes his potential as a football player, and against his mom’s wishes, plays the football. Go ahead and waste your time unless you have a real movie you want to watch, 2 / 5 Stars.

The Wedding Singer – The other Sandler/Barrymore flick, this time taking place in the eighties. Barrymore is engaged to some prick, and Sandler falls in love with her. All around, a very good situational comedy. 4 / 5 Stars

Bulletproof – Co-starring Damon Wayans, felon Sandler gets arrested, and he and Damon have to run from the drug lord that Sandler worked for. This movie is one of the worst movies possibly of all time and maybe even the world. 0.5 / 5 Stars

Happy Gilmore – The hockey wanna-be turned golfer, Sandler plays the PGA tour so he can earn money to buy back his grandmother’s house. Chris McDonals is the perfect villain, playing Shooter. 4 / 5 Stars

Billy Madison – The heir to the Madison hotel chain, Billy slothfully lives out his life getting boozed up with his friends until one day, to prove to his father he’s not totally worthless, Billy goes back to every grade of primary education. Classic. 4 / 5 Stars.

Airheads – Very dated, not funny, Sandler plays a band member that hijacks a radio station to get their song played on the air. 0 / 5 Stars.

There are some other movies of note that I haven’t seen, such as Spanglish, Punch-Drunk-Love, and Going Overboard. All of these are horrible, I’m told. He has also been involved in some other decent stuff, like both Deuce Biggilos and a couple David Spade movies and comedy specials (not Take The Hit). Overall, Sandler has been in more decent movies than bad ones.

11 comments:

Unknown said...

I'm not a huge Sandler fan, but he can be really funny. Going with IMDb's list, including ones he is only in for a second (out of 5):

Going Overboard - 0
Airheads - 2
Billy Madison - 5
Happy Gilmore - 5
Bulletproof - 3
Wedding Singer - 4
Dirty Work - 4
Waterboy - 2
Big Daddy - 3
Little Nicky - 4
The Animal - 2
Punch Drunk Love - 3
Mr. Deeds - 3
The Hot Chick - 2
Anger Management - 2
Pauly Shore is Dead - 2
50 First Dates - 2
The Longest Yard - 2

Bill said...

There's no way that Big Daddy is on the same level as Bulletproof, and I didn't include movies where Sandler only had a cameo role because it wasn't because of him that the movie sucked/really sucked.

Fitz said...

Here's how I got it. BTW, punch drunk love is very good

Going Overboard - 0
Airheads - 0
Billy Madison - 3.5
Happy Gilmore - 3.5
Bulletproof - 0.5
Wedding Singer - 4
Dirty Work - 3.5
Waterboy - 2
Big Daddy - 4.5
Little Nicky - 1
The Animal - 0
Punch Drunk Love - 4.5
Mr. Deeds - 2
The Hot Chick - 0
Anger Management - 1.5
The Longest Yard - 3.5

Unknown said...

>BTW, punch drunk love is very good

Eh. By far PT Andersons worst movie! But i guess you really like that guy...(no homo)

Fitz said...

>By far PT Andersons worst movie

absolutely agreed, but that's still better than 98% of the crap out there. and Sandler is great in it too

Shmorg said...

This review sounds like you are sucking Sandler's dick to be in his next crappy movie. Sandler 1990's is funny, Sandler 2000's is not.
My ratings

Going Overboard - did not see, but sure it was a low budget bomb.

Airheads - 3, Steve Buscemi and Sandler practicing how to talk to hostages=one of the funniest things every.

Billy Madison - 5, all comedies are based off of Billy Madison. Did you like Old School, well the second half was nothing more than the second half of Billy Madison.

Happy Gilmore - 5, Shooter, baby!

Bulletproof - 2, this was supposed to be a serious movie with a splash of comedy. It didn't really work.

Wedding Singer - 4, Anything making fun of the eighties is good.

Dirty Work - 4, I'm not sure how Sandler was a part of this movie, but Saigon whores are awesome.

Waterboy - 4, this movie was pretty effin funny. Henry Winkler should thank him for reviving his career.

Big Daddy - 4, Funny because of Big Boobs McGee

Little Nicky - 1, this movie sucked

The Animal - didn't waste my time

Punch Drunk Love - 4, If you didn't like this movie, you didn't understand it.

Mr. Deeds - 2, the 2 is for Turturro

The Hot Chick - 1, not good

Anger Management - 2, not good

Pauly Shore is Dead - never saw it

50 First Dates - 1, Tried to recreate the wedding singer after doing about 10 horrible movies. All he got was another horrible movie.

The Longest Yard - didn't see, sorry Nelly

Bill said...

Once again, you don't have to review any of the movies Sandler did a CAMEO in, just the ones where he had a leading role.

Sean, your logic is flawless. If you think I'm sucking Sandler's cock read the article again. I gave only 2 of his movies that were made post Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore 4 or more stars. There were 4 movies with 3 - 4 rating, making them average, decently entertaining movies. That leaves 5 movies that are less than 3, which makes them below average, not-so-funny movies.

I hate to quote myself, but as I said in the article, Sandler has been in more good movies than bad.

Fitz said...

ok, let's simplify this.

GOOD SANDLER: Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Wedding Singer, Dirty Work, Big Daddy, Punch Drunk Love, The Longest Yard.

BAD SANDLER: Everything else.

BTW, I thought The Longest Yard was schokingly good for what it was

Shmorg said...

Don't you mean my logic is flawed. And any movie you give a 3 to, is above average on a scale of 5. 2.5 would be average. I'm just saying a lot of Sandler's movies after the 1990's are bad. But we don't need to fight over it, we need to hook Sandler up with another good movie.

Bill said...

"your logic is flawless" = sarcasm.

Unknown said...

>Mr. Deeds - 2, the 2 is for Turturro

Turturro rocks.

> I'm not sure how Sandler was a part of this movie

When Norm MacDonald is halucinating, Sandler is Satan. He says "We eat the pig and then together we burn! Burn!" It's actually hilarious