Flu Vaccinations Are For Fat People!

Not too long ago, I got a weak little sinus infection that knocked me on my ass for about a week. But then, someone at my work said the magic words, “Are you loosing weight?” An idea popped in my head that is so genius, so revolutionary it will change the way people diet, exercise, and shed those unwanted pounds forever.

Every year, fat and fit people alike spend billions of dollars on pills, shakes, vitamins, and dozens of other products that promise miracle weight loss. People also spend billions inoculating themselves against the latest strains of the flu, the common cold, and other viral infections. This innovative and interesting new product is designed to help you shed those holiday pounds, all the while giving you all the benefits of an old-fashioned flu shot.

The product I am developing is called Tru-Flu, and here’s how it works. My idea is to inject people with an extremely dangerous and deadly strain of the same virus people are getting inoculated against, leaving them bedridden for days or even weeks. The basic idea is that when you have a cold, you feel like total crap, stay in bed, and don’t even feel like eating, thereby causing you to loose a ton of weight.

The key to my Tru-Flu shot is no exercise, just laying around all day while your butler, maid, spouse, or one of your parents (sometimes they’re all the same person, Alabama) waits on you!

I’m working on a book and DVD as well, which should be out in time for the holidays, so don’t forget about those last minute gifts!

I’m in the progress of inking a deal with a major drug company to make both a brand name and generic Tru-Flu shot, guaranteed to get you sick and loose five, ten, even twelve pounds in as little as one week! And if you can’t afford the generic, then just give me like ten bucks and I’ll spit in your mouth.