Old TV Shows Reviewed: 2 of 4

6. Full House
No matter what anyone says now, back in the day “Full House” was the shit. Bob Saget was the voice of reason. John Stamos was the ridiculously good looking Zoolander-type. Dave Coulier was the stupid magician who would have been better utilized working kid’s birthday parties in a clown outfit. Plus, it was the platform that the Olsen Twins leapt from to claim their present celebrity hotness. Four stars out of Five.

7. Fresh Prince of Bel Air
The definition of a situational comedy: black teen from poor neighborhood goes to live with his rich aunt and uncle. This series really propelled Will Smith into superstardom, but the real gem of the series was Alfonso Ribeiro (aka Carlton). Also, DJ Jazzy Jeff made guest appearances. Though this series is very dated, it’s still amusing to watch in an age of reality shows mixed with game shows mixed with B-list celebrities doing things they wouldn’t normally do. You know what I want to see on TV? How about giving Christopher Walken his own show? Maybe let Jack Black do a late night talk-show with his partner from Tenacious D, Kyle Gass. Anyway, Three stars out of Five.

8. MacGyver
Best show ever. Richard Dean Anderson is pure genius, playing a secret agent for a consultant firm that works exclusively for the government, called the Phoenix Foundation. MacGyver’s work takes him all over the world, saving us from countless terrorist attacks and saving friends from certain danger, all the while without ever firing a gun. Instead, he used his infinite scientific and logistical knowledge to get out of impossible situations. Also, not too many people know that MacGyver’s first name was Angus. Twelve stars!

9. Murder She Wrote
Stupid show. Angela Landsbury is a worthless old bag o’ crap. The surprise endings to the episodes were ridiculous. Once, I actually predicted the outcome of an episode. The character that was the killer was only on screen for thirty seconds. I’m not going to waste any more precious space on this, Negative seventeen stars.

10. Alf
The original sitcom, not the new talk show which I haven’t seen but assume is gay (no homo). Alf was an alien being that crash landed to earth, standing at about three feet tall with brown hair covering his entire body (just picture the love child of a dog and raccoon). He liked eating live cats, but I don’t recall him every indulging his appetite for the show’s entire four year life. In the final episode, the US government actually captures Alf, and nothing is resolved in the entire series. Three stars out of Five.