The Chronicles of Riddick: Review

This movie would be awesome if it didn’t suck so badly. Everything but the writing was horrible. Cinematography was confusing, the story wasn’t interesting, and the DVD production was laughable.

I have no idea why, but the director, David Twohy, thought it was a good idea to insert deleted scenes that didn’t make the final cut, and mark them by “jumping” the footage. This idea is almost as bad as the concept of “InfiniFilm”, which I’ll later explain. He even admits that this can be confusing in a “Special Introduction” to the movie.

Not only are there confusing jumps in the movie to let us know when there is a deleted scene coming up, but there are even more deleted scenes in the bonus features! These scenes are actually pretty funny, due to them not being finished. In many of them, the green screen wasn’t cut out fully, or even at all. Sometimes there are one or two second clips of CG animatics which were never finished.

Adding to the film’s worthlessness is the idea that it takes place five years after “Pitch Black”, and the girl in PB named Jack (then twelve) is now named Kira, and now looks like a 23 year old. Huh?

I seriously want to listen to the Director’s Commentary, just so I can try to understand how this guy David Twohy thought he was making a good movie. That way, if I ever make a movie I’ll do the exact opposite of what he did.

I hate the fact that I had to spend Thanksgiving with my drunk family, my drunk aunt asking one of my cousins when’s the last time she had sex with one of my other cousins. I hate even more the fact that I have to wake my lazy ass up at 4:00AM tomorrow to cater to angry day-after-Thanksgiving-deal shoppers. What I hate the most is that I spent two hours watching this crap-fest. By the way, my family really doesn’t fuck each other, but when you get Aunt Terrie drunk just watch out because she’s worse than Martin Lawrence on a bender.

Back to the InfiniFilm. InfiniFilm is a DVD production company. IF has an option that allows you to access DVD extras while the movie is playing via selecting a pop-up prompt. The reason that IF is so bad is because if you haven’t seen a movie, you want to watch it straight through without any deleted scenes, interviews, or behind-the-scenes foorage first.

IF claims on their website that you can access the Special Features from the main menu as well, though I know there are a few IF DVDs I have seen where I had to actually watch the movie in order to access the extras. So I have to ask, what’s the point of viewing the extras while you are watching the movie if you can view them from the Bonus Features Menu?

In summation, InfiniFilm is horrible. The Chronicles of Riddick is horrible. If this DVD were authored by InfiniFilm…wow. Just wow.