Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Finally, a New Post!



I’m back, and with big news – some good, mostly bad.

Good news - there is a new Transformers movie in the works! Do you remember Transformers growing up? The cartoons, the action figures, even the comic books? Ah, there were very few shows that rivaled the greatness of this hit cartoon series. I’m sure we all recall the two factions of the Transformers; the AutoBots (good guys, led by Optimus Prime) and the Decepticons (bad guys, led by Megatron). Unfortunately, that's where the happy memories stop.

The bad news – it’s going to be a live-action film, and it will be directed by Michael Bay (who directed Pearl Harbor and Bad Boys 1 and 2, and produced The (new) Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the Amityville Horror). Bay is also slated to produce the untitled prequel to his remake of the classic horror flick Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Normally I don’t rag on directors or producers that make shitty movies, because sometimes they just don’t have any other options. If a studio comes to you and offers you a movie, you have two choices: do it, or don’t eat for a year. But when someone such as Bay does nothing but crap movies for the last ten years (with the exception of Armageddon, and possibly The Rock), but they have all been a financial success, that’s where I draw the line. If this guy wanted to, I’m sure he could pick and choose the movies he makes. This leads me to believe that he is the epitome of a Hollywood whore, willing to do anything to make an easy $10 mil, and has really poor taste.

Here’s my solution: instead of paying eight-fifty to see this ninety-minute travesty, two years from now, when this monstrosity hits the big-screen, I’ll watch the original Transformers Movie. It’ll be a big party, and you’re all invited.

5 comments:

Shmorg said...

I use to watch Transformers which was scheduled around G.I. Joe, Voltron, and Thundercats. One of the best after-school line ups.

Fitz said...

yeah, but Armageddon > Garden State.

Angry Wooderson said...

Re-watch those Transformers episodes. Not as great as we remember them. Really good movie though. Funny... G.I. Joe = great cartoon, crappy movie. Transformers = mediocre cartoon, very good movie.

Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron... how cool was that? :)

Bill said...

As a child, the moviie was traumatizing to me. First off, they killed Optimus Prime within like 5 minutes! Didn't see that one coming... Secondly, there are numerous curse words, which was just disturbing when trying to watch a cartoon about robots. Lastly, the music. Weird Al had a song in the movie! And there was that song that Mark Wahlburg sings in Boogie Nights.

It's still a good movie, but as a child I found it higihtly disturbing.

Angry Wooderson said...

I wasn't ready for Prime's biting it. Handled really well, though. He was such a bad-ass just before it happened.

But right before that we had the freakin' massacre scene on the ship the Decepticons stole. Prowl bit it. Ratchet. Brawn ("Such heroic nonsesne... THWAP!")

But seeing a Hot Rod truck become leader. Even as a kid I was wincing.