Mike Jackson: A child-molester, a Catholic Priest, and Mike Jackson walk into a bar…six months ago this would have been just another line in Leno’s shitty monologue, but now it’s front-page news. What’s even more amazing is people are shocked that Mike is getting sued for playin with boy’s asses. He has been doing this since the 80’s, people! Am I the only one that remembers all the out-of-court settlements and law suites this guy has been through? It was all over the news back then, and nothing has changed. Mike, take a cold shower and some zanex and quit raping cute 12 year old boys!
Winner…even though there’s no real winner here, because the two nominees are most likely certifiablely insane, the more ridiculous of the two is by a nose (job) Mike Jackson! Twenty years of raping ten year olds beats out publicly announcing your faith in a silly Godless religion, in my opinion.
Woman
Oprah: Rumored to have thrown a big bitch-fit when she tried to get into a jewelry store after hours and they wouldn’t let her in, because they were closed. Confirmed to have sent her personal assistant while she was on jury duty to get her a special veggie burger instead of the crappy cafeteria food everyone else had to eat. The so-called Queen of all Media, not censored by the FCC because she’s “sacred”. Fat, skinny, in-between, always a bitch.
Katie Holmes: See previous post. And I’d still do her.
Winner is: Oprah! Yeah, she’s the queen, but she’s the queen of things that don’t matter and aren’t entertaining. She should crawl under a rock, die, or go bankrupt. And no, I wouldn’t do her, under any circumstances. I WOULD marry her, but only for a few minutes so I could divorce her and make an easy million dollars from the settlement.
Only a couple more rounds left; Sports, TV, and a special Honorary HB award will be given. Check back soon!
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