Here’s the next installment of the First Annual Horri-Bill Awards. Categories are; Worst TV Show, Worst Band, and Worst Song.
There was only one nominee for Worst TV Show, so by default, the winner is The O.C.! I haven’t ever seen this show, but from what I gather from Fox’s Main Page, it is a modern day 90210 set in L.A. Surfing, skating and skateboarding mixed with teenage awkwardness and pre-marital sex. I’ve got an idea Fox, how about another shitty reality show instead? Perhaps a sitcom about an attractive twenty-something female living in New York working at a magazine?
Incidentally, as of Monday I’m going to be in L.A. for the next few months, (USC) so maybe I’ll take up the show and compare it to the real life thing.
I was going to dishonor the Worst Band Award to every Greenday and Blink-182 type band that exists (especially Greenday and Bilnk-182), but that would be too easy. Instead, here are the nominees for Worst Band. Limp Bizkit, the band whose lead singer still hasn’t figured out that chin pubes aren’t cool. And neither is their music. Eminem, the only rapper I am aware of that named himself after a cute, delicious chocolate candy. AKA Marshal Mathers, Eminem relies on his offensive lyrics, rather than the quality of them, to sell records. Seriously, I think I am about as talented of a rapper as Marshal, lyrically and vocally. Moving on, the last nominee is Creed. If Jesus were alive today, he would be Scott Stapp, and he would be secretly converting all his fans to Catholicism via subliminal lyrics. Oh yeah, Creed sounds a lot like Pearl Jam.
All three nominees are the worst in their own special way, but I have to give the Award to Limp Bizkit! Fred Durst is one of the most hated lead-singers of all time in my book. He’s like that guy you know, and everyone knows a guy like this, that owns a video phone, an iPod, that one “clubbin” shirt, and a very loud sound system in his Civic. If you ever call him out on any of these possessions, he will respond “You just don’t get it.” Thank God I don’t.
Lastly, the Nominees for Worst Song. Snoop Dogg – Drop It Like It’s Hot, and Eminem – Just Loose It. Seeing as how Snoop has some really great songs, I’ll allow him this one. Therefore, the award goes to Eminem for Just Loose It! I would say that the song is about Marshal’s talent, but he never had any.
Two more installations to go!
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6 comments:
I disagree with you about Eminem. I think he's tremendously talented, but he panders so much to the lowest common denominator that his talent kinda goes by the wayside based on the cheapness of his music.
The OC sucks. The TV show, not the area. But the area might suck, get back to me on that.
I think Limp Bizkit runs away with worst band, but Creed is close.
"Just Lose It" is one of the worst songs ever. It's like a song designed to appeal to 7th graders. And trust me, when I sub for 7th grade, I hear enough of that "iiihhaahhhaahhahhhhhhh" noise that Eminem does to last a lifetime.
Why are you going to LA/USC?
I'll be doing the same thing as I did in Michigan. Chapter Consultant for Theta Xi Fraternity National Headquartes.
Chapter Consultant = Talk to guys about frat?
or
Chapter Consultant = Drink with guys considering frat?
i hope the bill comes back jaded and angry
I'll be basically giving the Chapter the tools they need to successfully recruit more good men. They will be doing things very different from the way that every other fraternity rushes (big stupid drunken parties). That's not an effective way to recruit guys that will be helpful to the chapter.
And yes, lots of hot sluts and bitches!
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