Horri-Bill Awards, Finally!

Holy crap, the holiday season is finally over and I am glad. To start off the New Year, here's the first few Horri-Bill Winners/Losers!

Nominees for the Worst Horror Movie: Exorcist: The Beginning, House of 1000 Corpses, Thirte3n Ghosts. Each of these movies in its own right deserves the award. Though I didn't see The New Exorcist, there is with no exception a good horror movie that is based off a classic horror movie. House of 1k Corpses, directed by Rob Zombie had no flow or reason. It was like watching a big budget movie made by a five-year-old. Thirte3n Ghosts had the genius concept that in order to see these ghosts you had to wear some special 3-D X-ray Oakley sun glasses. Then they killed you anyway.

After much consideration, I have decided that the winner that stood head-and-shoulders above the rest is Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses! The thirty second execution scene is enough to drive a normal person retarded, and a retarded person normal. With the sequel The Devil's Rejects in production, expect this monstrosity out early next year, or if the editing budget gets cut then late next week.

Onto the next award, the Nominees for Worst Movie are: Lost in Translation, The Day After Tomorrow, and Club Dread. Lost in Translation didn't make any sense to me or too many other people. And I really don’t understand why Bill Murray was even nominated for an Oscar for playing himself in a crap movie. That's not acting, that just getting paid. The Day After Tomorrow was too unbelievable to be even be decent. C’mon, New York turns into Antarctica in meer days? Yawn…how about turning France into a Pirate Theme Park? Now that I’d watch! Finally, Club Dread, the follow-up to the hilarious Super Troopers. Sucked, so bad. Not funny, though there were some tits.

Taking all things into account, there is only one clear choice for Worst Movie. Lost in Translation was oh so bad, and the fact that it was so successful makes it worse. There’s nothing more Horri-Bill than a movie that everyone loves that is just shitty. Congrats, daddy’s little girl, you may have fooled everyone else to think your movie is Oscar-worthy, but you didn’t fool me.

The last award for today will be for the category of Worst Web-Site. And the nominees are: Cher.com and Foz’s Gay Palace (sorry Foz).

Hands down, the winner is clearly Foz’s Gay Palace! Foz, you’re a good man and I like you as much as a heterosexual male can like another, but your site is just bad. Nothing personal, and no homo for that entire last paragraph.

More awards will be given out later this week, check back, word.