So far in my stay in LA, I have deduced a few key things. The first thing is that everybody in this beautiful city is very important, and therefore needs to act as such, dressing up for everyday errands like they were going to an upscale bar, reciting what they heard on some director's commentary, and dropping names as much as possible. All the sluts wear "ug" boots, and if you don't know what they are, consider yourself lucky. The dudes either have an earring in their upper ear or wear a tilted trucker hat.
The second thing is an exception to the first thing. The college kids here, for the most part, are just like the broke-ass raman-eating college kids at your college. They are on a constant search for the cheapest happy-hour, have a pile of dirty clothes / beer cans in their rooms, and can work a Family Guy or Napoleon Dynamite quote into any conversation seamlessly.
The third thing is totally idiotic to me. All the "cool" bars and parties have big lines outside, then when you finally get in, the place is empty. Great, I just waited fourty-five minutes to get into this awesome bar and I'm all alone. Also, I've been told that cops sometimes break up a line because it gets too big, and find a few kegs.
Next, there are lots of homeless people, and they all want to talk to me. The other day, a homeless african-american fellow asked me for money, so I kept walking. He stopped me again, and asked me where I was from, to which I replied St. Louis. He then understood why I didn't give him any money, because according to him, there were no black people in St. Louis, which made me a racist. Obviously, this homeless guy is well traveled enough to think that my cracka-ass had not only never seen a black man before, but had me pegged for a full fledged card-carrying member of the KKK. Why can't I be prejudice against all homeless, regardless of their race or religion?
Finally, if you don't ride a beach cruiser (cheap bike) or a skateboard to class, you must be either talking on your cell, listening to your iPod, or sipping some kind of speciality coffee drink. I've seen all of the above attempted simultaneously, and it just didn't work. If you don't do any of the above, you are open to solicitors that want you to save the ocean, provide tsunami relief, and help cure AIDS all in the same sentence.
I was going to post a list of the Oscar nominees, but I'm lazy so here's a link to that crap.
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4 comments:
byron and jason are black. i don't know if there are any others though.
ug boots are stupid.
"This is how its done in the O.C" - some character from the O.C tv show after hitting some other guy from the O.C television show on a commercial that I saw for the O.C television show.
you may think that quote sounds ridiculous, but that's how people really talk out here.
This is way late, but I just remembered it. It wasn't a horri-bill award, but the BEST wrestling angle was when Raven won the hardcore title, and put it on the line 24/7. That shit was awesome.
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